Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Beautiful People?

So, we are in Athens right now LOVING every second. The first day was rough as we were adjusting to the time difference (9 hours ahead of Utah)I found this quaint little Hotel in the heart of all the hussle and bustle and near the Acropolis. Here is a great view from the roof of our hotel...

We got in, tried to stay awake as long as we can and went to a little cafe where we were served a 4 cheese, tomato crepe type lunch. Interesting, but very good. We lasted until about 3:30 but unfortunately, your first day dealing with the difference in time is like trying to wake up from anethesia. Very difficult to function. We napped until about 9 and then got up and headed out to make some friends. We are in the SoHo type part of Athens. Very cool, gorgeous people. We found a cute outdoor cafe for dinner and then went to mingle. I'm so not kidding when I say we stick out like square thumbs. Probably the two blondes, gorgeous Asian and the Amazon. Lots of people asking us where we're from. I got suckered into buying this Boutainierre(the flower thing that guys wear to prom) from this darling little boy who was speaking choppy English to me and he handed it to me then he wouldn't take it back. I gave him a Euro for it. I apparently have SUCKER written on my forehead. The best part of the night was walking through the crowds and this guy stopped me and asked me where I was from and went on to tell me that he wanted to massage me and that I looked like Marilyn Manson. I told him if he ever wanted to get somewhere with a girl to NEVER say that again. He said it was my eyes. I've attached a picture to remind you all what his eyes actually look like. GREEK DOUCHE. He told me it was a compliment that I have rare eyes...blah blah blah.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


It's finally here. Tomorrow is the day. The excitement is so overwhelming, I can barely breathe. I'll probably be lying on one of these rooftops nude very soon. Okay I just threw up a little in my mouth--I couldn't help it. See you soon!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Burdensome Broccoli or The New Wingman?

Tonight started out good..a few of us went to Kate the Great's bachelorette party and ate dinner,played games, had girl talk, etc. For some reason, I was obsessed with the broccoli. I literallly could not get enough of it, and single handedly consumed the entire broccoli section of the veggie platter. I was even thinking how proud my trainer would be that I was eating large quantities of vegetables. Fast Forward to about 2 hours sweet little Lorvis was depressed and so I suggested we go people watch at Habits (FYI--the cheesiest, most hilarious (pathetic) club in SLC) as we were driving there I started to get a little sick to my stomach...and kept getting this wicked broccoli after taste. Fast Forward again to the dance floor. At one point while we are dancing, Lowder makes a face and says "OH MY GOSH SOMEONE STINKS" I laughed because I wouldn't put it past the classy crowd there. Not too long after that, she notices it again. I am starting to realize, my indegestion/broccoli burps are the horrific smell Lowder is smelling. So I made a mental note to keep it in. After we stopped dancing for awhile, we decided to relax against a wall and people watch. Pretty soon, Rico Suave himself saunters up with his big collar shirt unbuttoned down to his belly button with his Magnum PI chest hair hanging out all over the place and tries to make friendly conversation with me. Apparently I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen at the club and he just had to come say hi. So I try to be friendly to him though I am far from interested and in the meantime, there is a war going on inside my stomach and I'm starting to sweat and not in the cutesy perspiration glow way...more like the I just ran a marathon and need a good shower kind of dripping sweat. Mr. Suave is trying his hardest to get my phone number, I'm trying my hardest to get away from him so I don't accidentally burp in his face and then it happened, he turned away to chat with his friend and I took the opportunity to quickly burp and relieve some of that building pressure...just as Mr. Suave turns back to talk to me. I am pretty sure that wiff of stale broccoli hit him in the face like a ton of bricks as made evident by the nauseated look on his face. He then turned to say goodnight and I was spared of him asking for my number. Broccoli proved to be a better wingman than my two friends. Gosh, I'm sick...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Small Victories

Though this isn't really blog worthy, I was quite pleased with myself for installing a new door knob. I'm not the best candidate for home ownership as I don't know how to do squat in the home improvement arena, nor do I have a husband that takes care of it all. I would like to thank my tough dyke toolbox for suprisingly having a
"5 prong thingy" ...what Bob Villa calls a Phillips Screwdriver. I am so proud of myself. I should go fix a drain pipe or something.

Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patricks Day

Someone please help me understand the significance of kilts and bagpipes (all things Scottish) and how they relate to St. Patrick and his holiday (all things Irish)? Is this one of those arguments that Santa wasn't really present at Jesus' birth? Currently Confusion Prevails...

Sunday, March 16, 2008


I'm so *blessed* to have them.

Britta, I was going to say I am blessed to have you as a friend until you gave me douche for my birthday.

Ladies, you made my birthday wonderful. XO

Friday, March 14, 2008

30, Flirty and Thriving? er...

On the eve of my 30th birthday, I felt the need to jot down thoughts about turning
30. Until this week, I've been a big proponent of the 30's until I read some stupid fact about women and calcium. Then panic set in. Why this sudden need to re-evaluate my life and health not to mention feel inferior about what I haven't yet
accomplished. Where is the "30's for Dummies" book when I need it?

In two days, I will officially be closer to 40 than 20.

In only a few short years, I'll be expected to get regular mammograms!

I heard I may have a prime but I'm no closer to being able to abuse it.

U2 is one of those old people bands! Remember when you knew old people who LOVED the Grateful Dead or the Stones and you never understood the appeal and just dismissed it as old people music? The girls at my school think U2 are old school nor do they know who Huey Lewis is. Kill me.

People also feel sorry for me because I'm not married yet. As if being single is not by my own choice or that I'm desperately seeking spouse. This is not the case. Then there are the dip wads that use "You can always be like Sheri Dew" to them I say, bite me. I would corrupt the youth of today.

So, while I am in the middle of my quarter life crisis, I decided to try and see the half full side of things and admittedly, have so much to be grateful for. I have the most amazing and supportive friends and family that anyone could ever ask for. I have two puppies that I can't imagine my life without, I have incredible taste in music which is something not everyone is blessed with. I have a roof over my head, a job that allows me to pursue my passions of concerts and traveling. I have a body that serves me well. Though I am not to my goal weight or size, I am very healthy and glad to finally know that people love me for who's inside and how I make them feel and not my pant size. I have a zest for life and love to surround myself with people who feel the same.

Am I making the most of this journey? Hell yes.