Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Have You Seen Me?

It’s doubtful. I’ve missed so much lately because I’ve been absent from the blogging world. Let’s face it, I’ve just been absent lately. I have no idea where old Michelle is. She is there somewhere begging to come back, but I usually suppress her with a donut.

The last few months have been absolutely ridiculous for me in the luck department. Here’s just a *few* reasons explaining my absence:

Bruno, my very un-athletic dog, tore his ACL. It was awful. He cried and limped around and the only option the Dr. had for me was surgery. $2300 is no laughing matter. But all I could do was laugh because I can’t cry lately. I asked them how much it would be to just remove his leg (after all, he’s lived with one eye right?) They were appalled. Here’s a sad little tidbit. It would only cost $150 to euthanize my dog but $2300 to ensure he recovers. Goodbye rest of my savings. Post surgery, the surgeon tells me he has a 50-80% chance of now tearing the ACL in his other leg and to keep my dog from acting like a dog for the next 8 weeks. Lovely.

My laptop had a total hard drive crash. Goodbye 7 years of pictures and music. Did I back up? No. Why? I had ZERO clue I had to do that. Imagine how devastating that is. I want to cry, but I can’t. I also spent money trying to recover all the data but it didn’t work. One day later, my home PC also crashed. The day after that, my awesome phone that I love, started to kill over. Michelle Allison repels technology.

Night before Christmas, I was with some friends and we got in a car accident. My side was the side that was hit. It sucked, it also hurt. Sadly, Lori’s car got the worse of it. It could’ve been worse right? All I could do was laugh. This was getting ridiculous.

Week after that, got pulled over for not coming to a complete stop on a right hand turn. My first ticket since I was 16. The cop was a douche.

Week after Christmas, I decided it was time to go to the Dr. I’d been really sick with horrific stomach cramps and nausea. It turns out I’m pregnant. Lovely. Just kidding. I’m just constipated. The X-ray showed a good 10 lbs of crap inside of me. YAY! I felt so much better knowing what was wrong. He gave me some stuff to clean me out. Sadly, it didn’t work as well as he’d said and two days later I was back to feeling awful. I called the Dr. who told me I needed to go to the E.R. A nurse at worked thought it could be an intestinal blockage and they were very serious. I really want to cry at this point. The tears just aren’t there. I go to the E.R. on New Years Eve. Then I was discharged 3 hours later for a “spastic colon.” What the crap?!?

Days later, I got a notice from Murray City to appear in Court. I have two different case numbers. This is just getting ridiculous. One is to appear because of my traffic violation. The cop wrote me down for not having insurance. I GAVE him my insurance card, but because it had expired, I’m being sent to court. The second offense is for not having my dogs licensed. I have both of them licensed. Apparently when my dogs got picked up by Murray City Animal Control for chasing the ducks (I’ll tell you later) they had me register my pup. I did. Apparently I missed a step and didn’t register it with the Courts.
Murray City, I hate you.

Last week, my boss Bruce changed offices. He conveniently scheduled the move the week of the inauguration in D.C. when he’d be gone. A big thank you to Dad, Uyen, Lowder and Amy who helped me rock it out. It took up too much of my life for a month. Thank heaven it’s over. Bruce, thanks for the expensive lunch we took ourselves to. You paid for it.

SO…that is just a glimpse in my life the last little bit. I won't even mention my mental state of being. It can’t rain all the time, right? Oh wait…I did just get pulled over again for speeding. That one I deserved. :)

I’m back!


Clancy In Idaho said...

Wow. Just wow.

I was wondering the other day where you were in the blogosphere... I shoulda looked a little closer at my milk carton.

Sorry about your wild ride! Serious bummerage. Made for good blog fodder, though! :) Hope the sun shines again REALLY soon!

April said...

I am so glad you are back!!!!
Sorry about all the crap you have been through, that sucks! Love you and can't wait to hear more from you.

Kristin said...

Holy crow Michelle! I'm so sorry! All of that really sucks! I'm so glad to hear you're doing better now and that you'll be joining us again online. I'm sorry I was so clueless to your life. If you ever need to get away, come my direction. I'd love to see you!

Love ya'!

Carrie said...

What's with getting shat on by life's unpleasantries? You deserve to drink.

Looori said...

Quit your boob-titting!!! This is just a normal few months in your life! Thanks for making my car get bashed in by some a-hole. Poor ramrod is having surgery as we speak!

Welcome back!

Achtung Amy! said...

Crap, I rather you not come back if you're going to be so depressing. :0)

I know there is some AWESOME stuff that happened to you (i.e. Twilight, 12 pairs of shoes,)...how about giving us a hit of that too...Look, I just need a pick me up and I'm on a diet so I can't comfort food eat.

Ps - you forgot to blog about getting the donkey's bbq from Jordan Commons. :) Ya, so its not good luck but its a damn funny story.

lizzo said...

Did I dream this post up? I can't believe it.

Welcome back. I've missed you.

Mic and Jazzy said...

There you are!

I have missed your sarcastic and witty posts. Bummer about the rough couple of months- maybe 2009 will be better?

Wendy said...

Yay...Michelvis is back! Sorry to hear about your troubles....that is too much for one person.

We Luv 2 Blog said...

Yeah, you're back to blogging!! My life just hasn't been the same since you quit blogging - aparently neither has yours :)

I'm sorry for all the crap you've had to deal with latly. I hope things start looking up for you very soon!

bv said...

Did you really say. Wat the crap?'??!!!! You kill me. Look at the bright side...

Bruno lives! Only 2 tickets in 15 years? 10 lbs of immediate weight loss and you get to live to tell about it. Shoes at DSW?! Oh and the married folk are now waiting until after they split with their wives until they ask you out!!!

Umm...I know there's more. Chin up little buddy.

I yuv yu.

Holmesiefamily said...

Welcome back my dear. I wonder if you and I have been in the same place for the last while. Its not a fun place I know. Im hoping to be back in the swing of things myself but what with being knocked up and all its a bit tougher than I would hope. I love you girl and hope your luck improves. Call me sometime and I will do my best to cheer you up.. or make you cry. Whichever comes first. Love ya~

JennJam said...

Mich, I always knew you were full of it, but a doctor's confirmation never hurts.

ROFL at the 'repels technology' line.
I do the Snoopy dance in my head every time I'm able to quote Twilight in any form and give myself EXTRA points whenever I can use "You brought a snack." That line trumps all. :)

I'm so sorry for your bad days - - let's hope they're in the past. "Some days are better than others," you know. :)

Welcome back, lovey. I've missed you.